Reverberations

Well... After this post, to say we painted the town pink would be a gross understatement. Plus of course to celebrate GNM's sixth we took no prisoners and boy must I say Kenyan guys (gay, just so we're on the same page) can rock a party like no one's bizness.


Leaving home at five and rocking up at some random party in Westlands with a new found posse was the bestest idea ever like in God knows how long! As usual firewater was free and flowing to the contentment of all. Then came the dancing and boy o boy did the boys get their groove on! Damn! I wish that would be relived (I doubt it will). since I was tired of being a goody-two shoes I just let loose n I must admit it was the touchstone of this year. I really enjoyed myself and just to get things clear; I am an advocate for safe sex !


After rocking the party time to leave came and we set off but just as rowdy as possible. Am talking howling passengers and drinks all over the car upholstery (daddy ain't gonna be amused!) so were speeding in the wee hours of the morning through Mandera road and just as we take a turn on Othaya road I see this amorphous big blue mammoth of a truck barreling towards the corner without any lights on it save for the reflectors on the truck that the car we were driving illuminated and as silly me navigates the corner, the truck simply tore of the whole half back right side of the sedan. The noise made was super sonic so much so that i never heard the airbags deploy so obviously am hit smack on the face and that momentary impact almost literally took my breath away. These were all blurred as i came to realize i wasn't alone in the vehicle. I saw jack who was seated on the right side of the car on the left side and in a manner that betrayed his utter state of shock.


By this time intoxication was not in the equation, Steven on the other hand who was in the passenger seat had passed out. As i tried to push the driver's door open with a gargantuan migraine throbbing in my head I saw the figure of a man running toward the nearby hedge, totally disregarding him I moved toward the left side to let Steven and Jack out all I recollect up till now is seeing a bright white flash of light and then nothing.


Waking up in Nairobi Hospital with a bandaged lip and a neck brace with the family staring at this soon to be dead lad made me wish the flash had gone on to become the famous white light that welcomes the departed. What ensued were police statements after discharge and accusations and counter accusations and promises of a follow up though the fact that my neck stung like a matha***** was not of any importance. Luckily Jack and Steven were both better off than I and weren't harmed thanks to airbags and God.  Now that the day is over am really seeing the lack of thought and disregard for life of myself and my friends. To Jack and Steven: My sincerest apologies to u and family.


As u would guess the pictures of the car wreck confirmed my fears of the car being written-off with the rear axle completely torn apart. Dad's still acting nice but i know it is the lull before the storm that belies the terror and unspoken suffering to ensue, to which I welcome with open arms since I am stupid for driving under influence. So here I come public transport with a cold heart. (hope we have a long friendship).


Am still sorry...

nightmare!

I know what you are thinking: what am I doing at 4 in the morning awake and trembling like a leaf? I had a dream that has recurred severally.
In my dream I get acquainted through some miraculous way to some people of my orientation. All goes well and is well under wraps but I forget the saying that it's not over till the fat lady sings. In the motions of that life I find a good friend and as most Hollywood crap would have you believe we fall in love and live happily ever after(yeah right!) Instead while we are at some place not clearly defined one thing leads to another and we start getting all mushy inside and start cuddling then all hell breaks loose!
My parents (out of god knows where!) decide to show up unannounced we scamper to our feet and as is expected I push him away having that offended look (the:who are you and what are you doing with me one, yes, that one!!) My mother stares in shock then to disbelief then downright contemptuous anger. I then wish the earth could swallow me my 'friend' and I start offering all kinds of moronic excuses: I don't know what got over me and all that sh*t!
Out of nowhere my father comes into the scene with a good ol' shotgun and believe me he is more than trigger friendly even more than our good ol' boys in blue would ever be. We run out and to our shock all the people I struggled to keep the secret from are there! I am swearing and running and crying all at the same time with the shotgun firing loudly behind us. In a fraction of a second my dear friend jumps in front of me and takes on for me and he falls motionless to the ground. all else around me goes silent as I kneel not knowing whether to feel responsible for the death or to be shocked my own father was going to shoot me in cold-blood!!!!!!!!!!
As I stare through tear-clouded eyes at my dying companion helpless with no one to come to my aid I start screaming and wake up to find myself in bed sweating and making a small noise (cliche I know). As I lay awake there on my bed the sadness and the brutal reality of that dream becomes a tangible fear almost choking. I wish I would die but then again I tell myself we've been through this and I can't change what I am. I walk to the computer knowing that is a war I may not be so lucky to win but I let it rest to the very last inevitable moment.
I dunno why I am writing this here but I guess it is a feeling of security knowing I can write what I feel without fear of victimization for I know there are others out here and yonder like myself with a caring heart. I love you all and take care out there... for you never know the time nor the place thou shalt be stricken by my idiotic, narrow-minded, barbaric, myopic and tunnel visioned homophobes !#@$^$*!!!! Forgive my abuses but it was just in the spirit of letting it all out.