FAME BUT UNFORTUNATELY NO FORTUNES

It was a hell of week last week that it was!!! I tell you the fame made me gleeful with blatant disregard for the repercussions. From the Daily nations somewhat lukewarm attitude towards gay unions to the standard groups outright homophobic approach to the matter. Although I will cut the standard group some slack, it has been a dry spell what with a dwindling command of the market and downright failure to capture the target group. Don't mistake my sympathy as a condonement to their heinous actions. I mean, how do you hound down an old couple and ostracize them from the community they have lived with practically all their life. That was a low blow.

Most forums have been a buzz with the latest 'NATIONAL TRAGEDY' that is what some nitwit coined it regardless of all the actual tragedies besieging our country. On Friday the Standard's John Kariuki tried to explain the existence of homosexuality in the workplace. In a subtle but somewhat weak-hearted attempt he seemed to be telling people to get with the program and move on but I am taking a stance that we shouldn't move on as per se but we need to talk about this 'UNNATURAL UNAFRICAN AGAINST CHRISTIANITY' and all the other UN-prefixed words they have used to describe this so-called western vice. Ruth Lubembe's article in the Friday NATION was one that i took to since she tried to deal a blow to the gay-bashing media frenzy that had swept the nation's attention from more relevant issues.

Caroline Mutoko almost fell short of getting herself on the wrong side of the fence, though I did appreciate her tactful attempt at slowing down the gay-bashing parade. Meanwhile Bobby Brown accused my biggest icon of being a closeted bi-sexual to which I just had to sneer a little.

Most of the forums on both side of the divide seemed to be divided on what to say on the matter at hand and as I write this the citizen headlines seem to be keen on reviving the issue. Although I will mention that Tamaku was a bit pissed off to put it mildly at all the frenzy going around. I for one did enjoy the fact that it got so much attention. It is time we got ready for the rough road ahead. Our recognition aint gonna come by grace but by sacrifice from all quarters. I think we should be happy to shove the matter into the limelight otherwise we might as well keel over and pretend we are dead. We need to address the elephant in the room and if the only way to do that is to get negative publicity then let's look at it this way negative publicity is publicity all the same, we need to learn how to work it in our favor. Love you all and good week ahead. Mwah!!

older

Last week happened to be my birthday, though I got presents, I got the rude shock of having my phone stolen(on the same day as my birthday!!!!WTF!!!!!!) On to more less/more(whichever one prefers) The Pulse in the Friday Standard newspaper's pathetic attempt at an expose on the gay scene. I honestly did not get the whole point of the piece I found it rather lacking in meaning not even considering that the press is supposed to be neutral!!

The funnier thing is that through a friend of mine we actually know them by name and the funny/shocking/good (again subject to preference) they weren't in the least bit jolted by the photos of them. In my last post, I talked about how I spent the last few weeks around them though I was not the least bit impressed by the article I can't really say the harm or goodwill intended therein was properly conveyed. Though most of us saw it coming and had all the details of the expository article before-hand. Maybe am just insane.

Am i crazy?

Hey y'all. I missed you not that i was away but due to matters (read issues) that have hampered my energy flow or lack there off.

I have been looking for proof of any trace of intelligence in my age group. A friend said sharing sexuality does not equal friendship and i realised that in rather unorthodox way. By the by what happens to java with all their problems, but i digress. As i was blubbering on, i am yet to find a trace of sensibility in my age bracket.

I did indicate i would find myself a social life (fat chance!). I went about this and trust me i am willing to hermitise (am not sure the word exists) myself.

Scenario I: we go to some place where those voltures hang out. After one hour guess what i see? I see a group coming and something is off about them, it takes me a second to figure it out.

They are an eyesore! from the outrageously low cut denims to the dangling earrings to the downright hideous shirts, whoever said gays had a knack for fashion hadnt been to nairobi. Eurgh!

Scenario II: a conversation ensues and the garbage spewing out of their oral cavities is gut wrenching! from meaningless gossip of who screwed whose father to things that traumatise me just thinking about!

I just have a question to which i need a response soon enough before ground bottom nears further. Are there any intelligent gay people below 30 and before you think it, the answer is no, i am not looking for a relationship. Not now with the dumb-asses am seeing around. No-siree-no!

Confusion

I think the effect of my greek holiday has worn off! I am getting agitated by the smallest things. I think if i had a shrink at present i would be a disappointment.

I know am becoming retrogressive, i thought i was over moping! On friday night we had an outing with my friends and i was loathe not to notice my glaring solitude. They were in pairs but urs truly was flying solo and tusker malt took me through the night though begrudgingly!

I am not going to blame my being gay and use it as an excuse to be a drunkard. I have had the luck of seeing what alcohol can do to people and it aint pretty!!

I am not really moonstruck as many would love to think. My best friend actually left for further studies and it doesnt help my other good friend happens to be a bit busy and am not gonna cry over it, but i think my emotions are getting bottled up to toxic levels! Aaargh! i am thinking of screaming real loud then i remember that my problems aint common place. I am at a point where am angry at everyone. I think am tired of playing charades. My resilience is becoming putrescible to put it mildly. I guess rock bottom is nearing at an alarming velocity.

Phew!

I must say i missed y'all very much! I came back to the sad news of pater's unexpected exit from blogosphere, i truly will miss him.

I must say that i am changing my best city to athens. The weather was to die for and the men, well, i won't even go there damn!
Oh! how mannerless of me! forgive my manners. We (mum and i) as usual had gone to greece for a two week holiday to get our minds off things. She was a great holiday mate! unbelievably!

I hope i didn't miss much though i was rather disturbed to hear of MJ's preferences from GNM's blog. Whoa!

Gotta go get my beauty sleep (as if!) bye for now.

rumplesteltskin

The heading of this post is enough and I thought of leaving it at that. I am confused so don't expect this post to make sense. I may have found out my mistake. In my hurriedness to 'realize myself', I was setting myself up for a fall unintentionally or not. Oh! Am addressing the feeling of realising I was the 'other' guy. I was pissed at first and I thought wtf! As I was planning on a course of action that was going to get me retribution I found what I was looking for in a very unlikely place which am not at liberty to discuss.

I actually found a person who shares my interests and as usual has an attitude to boot. Am talking about my new found friend (and no, he isn't imaginary!). We all think we should always have a significant other but I am disagreeing with that notion I think sometimes we just need to slow down and build ourselves before we merge into a relationship that just drains away the little self we have built in us. A significant other is not always the answer yet we succeed in telling ourselves that we do need them. Although am not saying one shouldn't have them but one should do so when they themselves have built up an identity and personality that will be strong enough to survive a relationship whether it succeeds or not otherwise we may be setting ourselves up for a fall that may not only plunder our emotional life but other aspects of our lives that we were not ready to lose. I actually sat myself down and evaluated what had just happened and I realised that in my hurry to be in a relationship I had overlooked myself and I was stringing someone along for a ride they hadn't bargained for and I would have ended up wrecking up more people than myself.

I am of the opinion that some things in life will come and find us wherever we are we just shouldn't put our lives on hold or in some crazy rat race for something we really have no influence over. But in the instance we try to influence these aspects the results are more than not usually catastrophic. A friend is sometimes all we need to keep sane and in control of our life. Do have a lovely day.

heart break

I have been in limbo for quite a while and am not entirely sure am still breathing. I have no idea what am doing at all. As I write this am not sane I have had a harrowing week. I wouldn't really know where to begin narrating so I won't bore you with the horrid details of a heart break am working hard to forget!!!!
It is official that I am not having a love-life anytime in the near future. The betrayal is something I never saw coming but i guess am the better for learning how to smell one a mile off!!
Fuck him!!!!!!
Moving swiftly to more worthwhile things, I thought that Caroline's radio show yesterday was to say the least hilarious to me. I never thought I would wake up to the self proclaimed king of porn on a morning show and more to the fact that our kenyan actors are volunteers and aren't paid. I can't wait for the king's book coming out in two weeks. I can't wait because he claims he will name some of the members of club 222 who are his ever loyal clients!!!! I hope they were listening.