It's been a while with a lot happening in the "while" will update in a while, sorry, I meant soon.
XOXOXO NF.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
HERE WE GO AGAIN
Just thought I would drop in, rant and rave and get on with my exams that have kept me too busy to post some of the hilarious and sometimes dangerous things that have transpired since the last time wrote here (a story for a later time)
The purpose of my rant is the new nomination to the post of Chief justice, a Mr. Willy Mutunga, who so nonchalantly echoed his sentiments to the interview panel concerning his ear accessory that has kicked up quite a storm over the recent weekend. He told the commission that if it came down to choosing between the post of C.J. and ridding himself of his earrings, he would rather they keep the job to themselves. This turns out to be the source of the controversy that is raging.
Our ever dark age remnant church clergy have taken to the warpath once again and it is becoming harder and harder each day to tell if they are attention whores of some sort. I would like at this juncture to point out that as a catholic; I am part of the so-called church they seem to represent. The church clergy (read goblins) today went on hope FM a local Christian station and stated that Mr. Willy Mutunga was in actuality a gay person which you should note is different from him supporting equal rights for them. To further aggravate the matter, they out-rightly declared that wearing an earring on one ear was an accepted show of one’s homosexuality. This translates to anyone wearing a single earring being in danger of the cavalry.
Beyond all this, the fact is that after I read up on his track record I would think he is the best among his peers to handle the radical shift in the judiciary that we all yearn for. All factors considered, this is the best candidate for the job at this time.
P.S. I don’t think one’s sexuality is a hindrance to clear and impartial reasoning. Am just saying...
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Spring cleaning
Yeah, it's been a while, hasn't it?
I dunno how to explain my absence but then again, who can, right?
Anyway am writing this post after a while since I need some fresh infusion in my life. I am getting quite frustrated with plain 'ol normal. I haven't as yet sorted my public nor private life. I find that I have so many straight people surrounding me that I in essence am almost convincing myself that I might need to 'fit in' (cliché I know).
I am cleaning my friends lists and dumping the boring company I keep as backup I think it's time I took a risk. Who knows I might get a Mohawk, dye my hair red, get piercings everywhere imaginable and just to boot I might be bold enough to post a photo of myself on my profile.
Am honestly getting irritated with having to hide just because of who I am. Hey, I might even do something outrageous in plain sight. I know I sound crazy, but then again maybe I am. I want most of all to be free...
Now to go and start on those plans. (wish me luck! LOL!)
I dunno how to explain my absence but then again, who can, right?
Anyway am writing this post after a while since I need some fresh infusion in my life. I am getting quite frustrated with plain 'ol normal. I haven't as yet sorted my public nor private life. I find that I have so many straight people surrounding me that I in essence am almost convincing myself that I might need to 'fit in' (cliché I know).
I am cleaning my friends lists and dumping the boring company I keep as backup I think it's time I took a risk. Who knows I might get a Mohawk, dye my hair red, get piercings everywhere imaginable and just to boot I might be bold enough to post a photo of myself on my profile.
Am honestly getting irritated with having to hide just because of who I am. Hey, I might even do something outrageous in plain sight. I know I sound crazy, but then again maybe I am. I want most of all to be free...
Now to go and start on those plans. (wish me luck! LOL!)
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The experiment
Once again I don't understand how time moves so fast! A week is gone. A couple of exams are down and I must say am stupefied at how easy varsity examinations are! Or maybe am just smart? LOL!
Since my previous post detailing the far I have come on my journey, I have had exams as I have mentioned and engaged in some games and experiments of my own.
I did say that at times it does become difficult somewhat being gay and still ascribing to the teachings of Christianity. Some acquaintance of mine who has been nagging (and I mean NAGGING) me on the fact that being gay and being Christian are not two miscible qualities one can have. Mind you the said acquaintance is himself gay. Since he made my acquaintance recently, I can't help but to be very proud of myself (as If I could get any prouder). This guy has serious personal and esteem issues. He is the phony gay stereotype, those with the so outdated African-american slang and who keep calling someone 'child' in that annoying grandma-like tone (am not hating). Guess this passes off for some as being an urbanite or something rather, I digress.
So this guy ( I will call him Sam*), has been a pitiable sight. Not only does he have no confidence in himself, he has no confidence of his appearance and worse still he still beats himself up for being gay. I have been playing Dr. Phil and hoping something would be better within him all to no avail. He, more than the homophobes, believes it is an abomination to be gay and I simply asked him why then would the same God make us this way and still exist within myself? Or was it being implied that the gay people of the world are God-less? I believe not. This led me to my 'experiment'.
I ended up asking him to then question if he is at all gay. To which he replied in the affirmative. He was of the conviction that the environment made him gay and all that crap. I then asked him if he ever felt a difference between kissing a boy and a girl. He didn't answer this since he had no previous experience on kissing a girl. Don't lose hope just yet.
See, I have a friend called Asha*. This girl is beautiful by any standard if the looks she is given on a normal walk is anything to go by and the countless offers from would-be suitors. Asha is my best friend and she does know am gay. She doesn't have a problem with it, if anything we are even more closer. If any man would have heterosexual feelings, I believe they would be brought out by her. In my experiment I wanted Sam to kiss Asha and see what happens. (No, am not a pimp). I actually had to plead and promise my being indebted to her if she could help. So on Wednesday I went over to Sam's place with Asha and we proceeded with the experiment. Sam claimed he did not feel anything at all. Asha wasn't disappointed since I had kissed her before just to be sure I was gay (u never know, right).
This then led me to my argument with Sam on being gay due to the environment. I believe that if you are gay because of your environment only and it is not innate in you then you should at least feel a stirring if you get involved with a girl which was not the case in this 'experiment'**
This led me to believe that Sam's was just a case of self-loathe gone overboard and to add inferiority complex just makes the matter a disaster. I do pity him a lot. In a span of three weeks, we have ended up discussing suicide on 7 separate occasions. He is a good soul but the strain of being gay is proving to be a waterloo unto him. I do hope he will learn to accept himself and reconcile with his god. Before he makes good his threats of 'offing' himself.
*Not the real names
** ISO: 2008 certified experiment (LOL)
Since my previous post detailing the far I have come on my journey, I have had exams as I have mentioned and engaged in some games and experiments of my own.
I did say that at times it does become difficult somewhat being gay and still ascribing to the teachings of Christianity. Some acquaintance of mine who has been nagging (and I mean NAGGING) me on the fact that being gay and being Christian are not two miscible qualities one can have. Mind you the said acquaintance is himself gay. Since he made my acquaintance recently, I can't help but to be very proud of myself (as If I could get any prouder). This guy has serious personal and esteem issues. He is the phony gay stereotype, those with the so outdated African-american slang and who keep calling someone 'child' in that annoying grandma-like tone (am not hating). Guess this passes off for some as being an urbanite or something rather, I digress.
So this guy ( I will call him Sam*), has been a pitiable sight. Not only does he have no confidence in himself, he has no confidence of his appearance and worse still he still beats himself up for being gay. I have been playing Dr. Phil and hoping something would be better within him all to no avail. He, more than the homophobes, believes it is an abomination to be gay and I simply asked him why then would the same God make us this way and still exist within myself? Or was it being implied that the gay people of the world are God-less? I believe not. This led me to my 'experiment'.
I ended up asking him to then question if he is at all gay. To which he replied in the affirmative. He was of the conviction that the environment made him gay and all that crap. I then asked him if he ever felt a difference between kissing a boy and a girl. He didn't answer this since he had no previous experience on kissing a girl. Don't lose hope just yet.
See, I have a friend called Asha*. This girl is beautiful by any standard if the looks she is given on a normal walk is anything to go by and the countless offers from would-be suitors. Asha is my best friend and she does know am gay. She doesn't have a problem with it, if anything we are even more closer. If any man would have heterosexual feelings, I believe they would be brought out by her. In my experiment I wanted Sam to kiss Asha and see what happens. (No, am not a pimp). I actually had to plead and promise my being indebted to her if she could help. So on Wednesday I went over to Sam's place with Asha and we proceeded with the experiment. Sam claimed he did not feel anything at all. Asha wasn't disappointed since I had kissed her before just to be sure I was gay (u never know, right).
This then led me to my argument with Sam on being gay due to the environment. I believe that if you are gay because of your environment only and it is not innate in you then you should at least feel a stirring if you get involved with a girl which was not the case in this 'experiment'**
This led me to believe that Sam's was just a case of self-loathe gone overboard and to add inferiority complex just makes the matter a disaster. I do pity him a lot. In a span of three weeks, we have ended up discussing suicide on 7 separate occasions. He is a good soul but the strain of being gay is proving to be a waterloo unto him. I do hope he will learn to accept himself and reconcile with his god. Before he makes good his threats of 'offing' himself.
*Not the real names
** ISO: 2008 certified experiment (LOL)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
FINDING ME
Well, it's been a while since I arranged my thoughts. It's February already! I guess time flies fast when a couple of old Professors are breathing down your throat for assignments, research papers and whatnots. Enough of that already at least the upcoming exams are a sign off relief as my holiday approaches.
I thank God I have been so busy for fear of actually slowing down and realizing am not really moving or making progress on all fronts. I am talking about the 'finding myself' phase and the fact that am not that patient guy (at least not last time I checked).
So here I am at this point in my life to determine what the next years(God knows how many) are to be like. To say that I haven't made progress would be a lie. I have come to accept myself to a great extent and all I need to do is reconcile 'me' to my religion. The pastor at church seems to eye me when he has those pathetic homophobic notes in-front of him at the pulpit (paranoia). I could care less but it still nags me and uncle google has merely served to feed the wildfire (Australia's got nothing on this one).
There is a burning desire to feel 'right' though in this case the right I seek was preset by heterosexuals and well, it is questionable to an extent. We all have that need to be accepted and not merely tolerated. I know you too have that need. It is a need capable of throwing you off-balance if you don't keep it in check. They always say to be your 'own man' and to do that sometimes requires you to turn your back to the gallery. But in turning our backs are we not risking all? We say that if someone can't accept you, you shouldn't waste a tear over them nor give them a second thought. All I say is what if this means turning your back on those we have called family for all those years? The same people who have given us comfort in times of doubt and sorrow? The same people who have been our lives' pillars all this while? Is it not selfish of us to expect them to understand us and we not them? It is a recurring thought that reverberates throughout my head in all my waking life. I do realize that the prejudices held against the likes of myself are all 'fixed' information that mostly have no logical bearing whatsoever but there's always that small nagging to believe otherwise.
Oh, how easy it would be to sit back and suck it in, all the while telling yourself that they are right and you have to curb your 'hunger' as they call it. How easy it would be to fade into the mundane background and follow all the norms they selfishly lay out as necessary to be considered a member of their society. It would be so simple to sit back and throw barbs at the fags, laugh at gay pride parades and trash the gay neighbor we merely suspect but have no evidence of his orientation. So easy... *sigh*
But such is not my path as I have come to terms with albeit with a tinge of fear. The road ahead can't be smooth. I can't promise myself to be at the helm of every gay rights march but I do realize my part in the whole system. I must learn to stop and breath and let not the unknown bother me in my journey. I must be able to live in the moment that is now for tomorrow never comes and today is all we have to live for right?
I am not sure I will have the courage to face my beloved family when the inevitable moment of fessing up comes, nor my dearest of friends. I may never be sure if I will accept it to be a part of my public image. I may not even stand up for the rights of my brothers publicly nor my own.
For now I know I have only come to accept myself and even that is not complete yet. This may seem selfish but am only myself at the end of the day and I guess I will have to be content with accepting myself for now. I may never be the next David Kato or Denis from GALCK but for now I am a fierce gay rights advocate within myself. That within itself is an accomplishment.
The peace that is in accepting myself is immeasurable and though the terror of the truth coming to light is ever ominously towering above me. I have come to terms with myself. That's the best I can do as I live in the here and now, throwing to the wind all caution and foreboding.
I live for now...let tomorrow fight it's own battles.
I thank God I have been so busy for fear of actually slowing down and realizing am not really moving or making progress on all fronts. I am talking about the 'finding myself' phase and the fact that am not that patient guy (at least not last time I checked).
So here I am at this point in my life to determine what the next years(God knows how many) are to be like. To say that I haven't made progress would be a lie. I have come to accept myself to a great extent and all I need to do is reconcile 'me' to my religion. The pastor at church seems to eye me when he has those pathetic homophobic notes in-front of him at the pulpit (paranoia). I could care less but it still nags me and uncle google has merely served to feed the wildfire (Australia's got nothing on this one).
There is a burning desire to feel 'right' though in this case the right I seek was preset by heterosexuals and well, it is questionable to an extent. We all have that need to be accepted and not merely tolerated. I know you too have that need. It is a need capable of throwing you off-balance if you don't keep it in check. They always say to be your 'own man' and to do that sometimes requires you to turn your back to the gallery. But in turning our backs are we not risking all? We say that if someone can't accept you, you shouldn't waste a tear over them nor give them a second thought. All I say is what if this means turning your back on those we have called family for all those years? The same people who have given us comfort in times of doubt and sorrow? The same people who have been our lives' pillars all this while? Is it not selfish of us to expect them to understand us and we not them? It is a recurring thought that reverberates throughout my head in all my waking life. I do realize that the prejudices held against the likes of myself are all 'fixed' information that mostly have no logical bearing whatsoever but there's always that small nagging to believe otherwise.
Oh, how easy it would be to sit back and suck it in, all the while telling yourself that they are right and you have to curb your 'hunger' as they call it. How easy it would be to fade into the mundane background and follow all the norms they selfishly lay out as necessary to be considered a member of their society. It would be so simple to sit back and throw barbs at the fags, laugh at gay pride parades and trash the gay neighbor we merely suspect but have no evidence of his orientation. So easy... *sigh*
But such is not my path as I have come to terms with albeit with a tinge of fear. The road ahead can't be smooth. I can't promise myself to be at the helm of every gay rights march but I do realize my part in the whole system. I must learn to stop and breath and let not the unknown bother me in my journey. I must be able to live in the moment that is now for tomorrow never comes and today is all we have to live for right?
I am not sure I will have the courage to face my beloved family when the inevitable moment of fessing up comes, nor my dearest of friends. I may never be sure if I will accept it to be a part of my public image. I may not even stand up for the rights of my brothers publicly nor my own.
For now I know I have only come to accept myself and even that is not complete yet. This may seem selfish but am only myself at the end of the day and I guess I will have to be content with accepting myself for now. I may never be the next David Kato or Denis from GALCK but for now I am a fierce gay rights advocate within myself. That within itself is an accomplishment.
The peace that is in accepting myself is immeasurable and though the terror of the truth coming to light is ever ominously towering above me. I have come to terms with myself. That's the best I can do as I live in the here and now, throwing to the wind all caution and foreboding.
I live for now...let tomorrow fight it's own battles.
Friday, January 28, 2011
COVER UP OR THE TRUTH?
Reuters Uganda have reported that according to the Uganda Police, David Kato's killing may not be a case of hate crime as earlier reported. "His homosexuality has not come up as an issue in the preliminary investigation," police spokeswoman, Judith Nabakooba, told Reuters. According to Reuters Uganda the police haven't considered the hate crime angle and are instead investigating a person who had been living with David prior to the attack.
Case of conspiracy/cover-up or just the plain truth? You decide...
Case of conspiracy/cover-up or just the plain truth? You decide...
Thursday, January 27, 2011
FALLEN HERO
While this issue has been addressed many a time by a number of bloggers, I think it is time the cloak and dagger games came to a stop. An innocent life has been lost in a grotesque manner. This goes to show how deep-seated the hate for LGBTI persons has become. It is indeed a grave issue that if not addressed might end up justifying the bloodshed of innocent people all because someone holds a different idea on whom they (not you) choose to express their love towards. To kill a fellow human with such savage I think ends up contradicting the same doctrines the anti-gay crusaders purport to stick to. Shame on all of you.
R.I.P. DAVID KATO
ILGA RESPONDS TO DAVID KATO'S BRUTAL MURDER
ILGA CONDEMS DAVID KATO?S MURDER URGING UGANDA AUTHORITIES TO ENSURE SAFETY
LGBTI COMMUNITY
Brussels, January 26, 2011 -- ILGA the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
Trans and Intersex association is appalled and shocked by the murder of gay
rights activist David Kato in Uganda on Wednesday. Kato?s body was found by
neighbors in his house in Kampala on Wednesday hacked on the head with a
hammer. From Mexico-city ILGA?s co-secretary-general, Gloria Careaga issued
a forceful demand to Uganda?s authorities, to stop the persecution and
violence against LGBTI people and to thoroughly and promptly investigate
?this hideous crime?. ?We demand justice and respect. Our international work
is based on the phrase ?Nobody is safe until everybody is safe?, Careaga
stated.
Kato?s murder comes only weeks after the Uganda Supreme Court told the local
magazine ?Rolling Stones? to stop publishing names of prominent Ugandan
alleged homosexuals and calling for them to be hanged. It now seems someone
apparently took up the magazine?s call and David Kato, who was out already
as gay man and LGBTI activist has become the first lethal victim of the
magazine?s hate call. Careaga: ?First we need to mourn David and celebrate
his life and legacy, while giving comfort and support to his family, friends
and fellow-activists in Uganda and all over the world. But then we will have
to ensure that his death proves that the wave of hate towards LGBTI people
in Africa and particularly in Uganda must be stopped and turned around". She
quoted a statement of Kato in an interview by the New Internationalist
Magazine last year: ?I can?t run away and leave the people I am protecting.
People might die, but me, I will be the last one to run out of here?. ?David
Kato did not run, and he died. We cannot leave his work undone? Gloria
Careaga stressed.
David Kato visited the ILGA?s headquarter in Brussels as recently as march
last year on a tour of European institutions and governments to boost
support against the Ugandan law proposal aiming to make homosexuality
punishable by death. Kato has been arrested three times for his activism and
faced innumerable other forms of harassment and assault. A long-time
activist, Kato had earned the title of ?grandfather of the kuchus? ? as gay
men in Kampala call themselves ? for his work on behalf of people in the
LGBT community. In the past he has sheltered many people in his home,
visited them in prison and worked for their release. He worked as the
advocacy and litigation officer for SMUT, Sexual Minorities Uganda, Uganda?s
main LGBTI Rights group. David Kato?s murder ironically comes on the same
day that United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki Moon made the strongest
call ever by the UN for an end to human rights violations based on sexual
orientation and gender identity.
Mario Kleinmoedig
ILGA Press Officer
LGBTI COMMUNITY
Brussels, January 26, 2011 -- ILGA the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
Trans and Intersex association is appalled and shocked by the murder of gay
rights activist David Kato in Uganda on Wednesday. Kato?s body was found by
neighbors in his house in Kampala on Wednesday hacked on the head with a
hammer. From Mexico-city ILGA?s co-secretary-general, Gloria Careaga issued
a forceful demand to Uganda?s authorities, to stop the persecution and
violence against LGBTI people and to thoroughly and promptly investigate
?this hideous crime?. ?We demand justice and respect. Our international work
is based on the phrase ?Nobody is safe until everybody is safe?, Careaga
stated.
Kato?s murder comes only weeks after the Uganda Supreme Court told the local
magazine ?Rolling Stones? to stop publishing names of prominent Ugandan
alleged homosexuals and calling for them to be hanged. It now seems someone
apparently took up the magazine?s call and David Kato, who was out already
as gay man and LGBTI activist has become the first lethal victim of the
magazine?s hate call. Careaga: ?First we need to mourn David and celebrate
his life and legacy, while giving comfort and support to his family, friends
and fellow-activists in Uganda and all over the world. But then we will have
to ensure that his death proves that the wave of hate towards LGBTI people
in Africa and particularly in Uganda must be stopped and turned around". She
quoted a statement of Kato in an interview by the New Internationalist
Magazine last year: ?I can?t run away and leave the people I am protecting.
People might die, but me, I will be the last one to run out of here?. ?David
Kato did not run, and he died. We cannot leave his work undone? Gloria
Careaga stressed.
David Kato visited the ILGA?s headquarter in Brussels as recently as march
last year on a tour of European institutions and governments to boost
support against the Ugandan law proposal aiming to make homosexuality
punishable by death. Kato has been arrested three times for his activism and
faced innumerable other forms of harassment and assault. A long-time
activist, Kato had earned the title of ?grandfather of the kuchus? ? as gay
men in Kampala call themselves ? for his work on behalf of people in the
LGBT community. In the past he has sheltered many people in his home,
visited them in prison and worked for their release. He worked as the
advocacy and litigation officer for SMUT, Sexual Minorities Uganda, Uganda?s
main LGBTI Rights group. David Kato?s murder ironically comes on the same
day that United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki Moon made the strongest
call ever by the UN for an end to human rights violations based on sexual
orientation and gender identity.
Mario Kleinmoedig
ILGA Press Officer
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Topics tropicalized for us?
I can't really be sure. But I am of the inclination that the world is conspiring for some unknown reason so far. In my past single week of being on campus, I can almost swear that there has been a very sharp increase on debate regarding the gay community both in Kenya and globally mind you that 96% of the people I interact with so far are heterosexual. Though most of the arguments are tropicalized (made to suit our Kenyan situation). I realize that there is a gradual increase in the interest on the subject of homosexuality amongst our future leaders (am not so sure about the leaders part).
Obviously the discussions have been more inclined towards the argument against supporting homosexuality and accepting homosexuals in our society. Though this is a chance for the trolls to spread their vitriol, I have come to see this as a disguised blessing (stay with me on this one). The thing is, as these arguments continue to be on their minds and lips, they will be forced to research their facts and maybe, just maybe they may be able to realize the fallacies that they have for most of their young adult lives idolized as truths and get to see this situation in proper context. The main thing that made me find this weird coincidence worth writing about is the fact that many are getting to stop seeing this as a religious issue and are getting to see it in the proper social context that should be their basis of argument. Though the bible argument is far from over, I hope reason prevails. Just call me optimistic or delirious but I see hope...
Obviously the discussions have been more inclined towards the argument against supporting homosexuality and accepting homosexuals in our society. Though this is a chance for the trolls to spread their vitriol, I have come to see this as a disguised blessing (stay with me on this one). The thing is, as these arguments continue to be on their minds and lips, they will be forced to research their facts and maybe, just maybe they may be able to realize the fallacies that they have for most of their young adult lives idolized as truths and get to see this situation in proper context. The main thing that made me find this weird coincidence worth writing about is the fact that many are getting to stop seeing this as a religious issue and are getting to see it in the proper social context that should be their basis of argument. Though the bible argument is far from over, I hope reason prevails. Just call me optimistic or delirious but I see hope...
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Happy new year
A rather belated wish to y'all for a happy new year!
Getting down to other 'stuff', I happen to have not had any sort of a holiday what with all the assignments and innumerable number of research papers to submit. I haven't much to say save for expressing my hope for a good new year and from the onset this promises to be an entirely new and breathtaking time for the next 359 days (hope the champagne keeps on flowing and the party don't stop). Am so glad for all the good things that I have in my life inclusive of my 'blogworld' out here, a place of refuge.
Talk to you soon after I make some old professor angry with lengthy reports. ;)
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