Am.....well, to put it mildly, stressed beyond belief! Aaaargh! for how long will i have 2 bear this facade? am a dying man. Being young and gay is a timebomb. I have tried supression, denial n all hav comd to naught! i just cant imagine telling anyone am gay! my life is a lonely shell as every moment going by means am getting weaker am forced to have a girlfriend that i dnt want dnt need n dnt know what to do with 1 coz i wont perform and that may unleash a beast am not yet ready to deal with.
I truly do envy the gay frats working and livin their lives. Unfortunately for me, am trapped with no friends as the 'friends' (note the marks!) cant and will neva understand me and my predisposition. Am torn into shreds. Looking at me from the outside you may neva know the torment i face. For all you know you may have seen me on the street and thot i was smiling coz i was happy but it aint so for me. I still continue in this lyfe hoping, praying, waiting for a friend not necessarily a lover but perhaps a friend to walk with me through this dreary path that is seldom trodden. I look yonder and wish upon a star for that person(s) that will hold my hand in a storm and whisper to my ear it will be okay. Oh i await with bated breath! oh how i wish.
Meanwhile, till then i must bear the cross that is nt of thine own desire but that of a far much greater cause. Surely, am not alone in this? is there no sympathy for them that are not guilty. Is there no respite! save me from depression! is there no saviour for my suffering?