Wednesday, July 15, 2009


The heading of this post is enough and I thought of leaving it at that. I am confused so don't expect this post to make sense. I may have found out my mistake. In my hurriedness to 'realize myself', I was setting myself up for a fall unintentionally or not. Oh! Am addressing the feeling of realising I was the 'other' guy. I was pissed at first and I thought wtf! As I was planning on a course of action that was going to get me retribution I found what I was looking for in a very unlikely place which am not at liberty to discuss.

I actually found a person who shares my interests and as usual has an attitude to boot. Am talking about my new found friend (and no, he isn't imaginary!). We all think we should always have a significant other but I am disagreeing with that notion I think sometimes we just need to slow down and build ourselves before we merge into a relationship that just drains away the little self we have built in us. A significant other is not always the answer yet we succeed in telling ourselves that we do need them. Although am not saying one shouldn't have them but one should do so when they themselves have built up an identity and personality that will be strong enough to survive a relationship whether it succeeds or not otherwise we may be setting ourselves up for a fall that may not only plunder our emotional life but other aspects of our lives that we were not ready to lose. I actually sat myself down and evaluated what had just happened and I realised that in my hurry to be in a relationship I had overlooked myself and I was stringing someone along for a ride they hadn't bargained for and I would have ended up wrecking up more people than myself.

I am of the opinion that some things in life will come and find us wherever we are we just shouldn't put our lives on hold or in some crazy rat race for something we really have no influence over. But in the instance we try to influence these aspects the results are more than not usually catastrophic. A friend is sometimes all we need to keep sane and in control of our life. Do have a lovely day.


  1. there is nothing i find nice as my freedom from you say friends and not lovers and people constricting my space are what i like.and oh i would like to know you better.haha

  2. @ Warrior:
    Spot on! I am with you on that. About getting to know you, I would love that. Try the email link then if it doesn't work tell me so i can write it for you.
    Take care.

  3. NF,

    We must learn to know what we really want, lest, and I pray not so in your case, when we have it, we do not even recognize it!

    Relationships are about getting to know the other, painfully, joyfully but all in good time. Do not rush. Things will fall in place as fate decides. Learn to love the other and give each other specs.

    And I can see you don't waste time, do you?! Warrior seems to be aiming at you already. Clearly you have something worth warrior's overture. Clearly you have got it going on!

    Best of luck....

  4. @ pater:
    I move to strike your last paragraph. I will... Ooooh!

  5. There is still a lot of experiences in life that are 'out there' and yet to be sampled.

    I have been in two gay relationships since 2000 and although they were contrasts, I appreciate someone to share life with. Granted that getting the right person is a challenge in itself, I hope you are not jaded because of this experience.

  6. I still have the heart to go on. Some things are meant to strengthen you and not deter you from further ventures. Life is funny like that.

  7. That's so true, some things in life will just find us regardless, in the meantime follow dreams and live every day like it's the first. Take care.

  8. @ Tammie:
    So true! Thanx and have a great week.

  9. Woah...easy down big boy; you said it yourself, sometimes friendship is what we need most. Work on that as you work on your self and what you expect of you so that you can know what to expect of others. Good luck all in all.

  10. @ njoroge: ok. Discovering what you want can be tricky. Thanx.

  11. everything as it comes dearie...